Never in a million years would I have imagined myself trying online dating. However, one of my girlfriends at work was doing it and I thought, “Fuck it.” I went into the AppStore, read reviews about multiple apps, and chose one that charged a fee to use. The reason was I figured it would weed out the trash…
I get a message request from a guy that’s got a beard and is laying out on the beach. Not really my type, but he had taken the time to send a message that wasn’t boring. I thought, “Ok, someone with a sense of humor, I’m with it.” So I messaged him back and we have a little bit of back and forth and tells me he used to be in the Marines. I let him know I’m in the Air Force and he’s like, “Oh man, a military girl, I haven’t had one of those yet, I like it. Are you into Findom?” I tell him I have no idea what that is and he has the daggum audacity to tell me to research it myself on Google. Psh, ok, whatever.
Now, I’m sitting in the breakroom at work and my gf is sitting right next to me. We’re both scrolling through these dudes on our profiles and sharing stuff. This guy tells me to look up Findom, I roll my eyes but I do it. As soon as I got through the description I’m laughing so hard and shoving my phone in her hand. She has to see this to believe it! We laugh and talk and she’s like, “You have to keep going with this. I need to know how this worksss.”
Google says – “Findom stands for financial domination. Simply put, men involved in findom send expensive gifts, give regular sums of money (the amount is set by the woman) or even allow the unknown woman to have complete control over his finances. There is no sexual exchange and in the majority of cases the two never meet.”
So, I message him back and let him know I looked it up and I have questions. My first inquiry is if this Findom arrangement requires sexual favors, vidoes, pictures, etc because that’s when I tap out and remove him. He tells me, “Not all the time,” and I’m listening bc shooooooot. He lets me know that he gets off on sending his money to women and he wants to send me money, pay my bills, etc. He tells me that we’ll start with something small and then if I’m comfortable we’ll progress. I’m DYING at this point, like why am I like this? Why am I going along with this??
Ya’ll. I can’t make this up. The next message said,
“I’ll pay you $5 if you immediately tell me when you fart and I’ll give you up to $20 a day.”
I’m ashamed to say that I couldn’t do it, ya’ll. I couldn’t. I wanted to. I coulda had $20 a day by 9 am every day. I did the math, I knew what was at stake. Not a day passes by that I don’t wish I had just done it, that man coulda been paying my inflated electric since we moved from Gulf Power to Florida Power.
I’m dumb. I know. It’s my biggest regret.
If you’re into Findom, message me – kiss kiss.
Come As You Are... 