When You’re TOO

Some people might say you’re too loud, too shy, too stubborn, too easy going, too blunt, too independent, too dependent, too busy, you say too much, too awkward, too emotional, too emotionally unavailable, too inquisitive, too positive, too negative, too smart, too funny, too giving, too mean. You get it.

We’re TOO for some people and we can be okay with that.

Are we too loud? Yep and if it’s not our voice, it’s our laugh filling the room. Sit back and enjoy it.

Are we too shy? Sometimes and we absolutely hate it. It holds us back from socializing and there’s nothing we love more than having all the friends but maybe it’s also a way of protecting ourselves from being hurt. Maybe we don’t have any more room for disappointment in our hearts at that time. Be patient with us because we’re worth knowing.

Are we too stubborn? Absolutely. We’ve been through enough to know what we believe in, what we stand for, and what we’ll tolerate. However, we’re also open minded and not afraid to adapt our way of thinking.

Are we too easy going? We have to be. If we were uptight or stubborn about everything, that would be exhausting, crippling even. So, you betcha we’re too easy going sometimes. It’s called picking your battles. It’s called knowing what matters and what doesn’t. It’s called living life and enjoying the ride. Sometimes we’re out of rope and in that moment, we have to let go as a survival tactic.

Are we too blunt? This is a big one. We can be blunt and straightforward but it’s our responsibility to know our audience. Being blunt doesn’t excuse us from saying things that end up hurting others. We just don’t like to dance around things. We want to get straight to the point and not waste anyone’s time. We also don’t like small talk bc it doesn’t accomplish anything so don’t torture us. You really wanna know the truth about something? Ask someone that’s not afraid to tell you.

Are we too independent? Yeeeep. You know why? Because everyone we’ve counted on has let us down, disappointed us, or left us scrambling in the end. Know how we avoid that? We don’t and won’t depend on you…for anything…at all. It’s easier that way and guarantees the outcome we’re trying to achieve. Sounds exhausting and terrible, doesn’t it? It is but it’s still easier, at least in our minds.

Are we too dependent? Listen, we can be both. If you feel like we’re dependent on you, that’s a sign of trust and exhaustion. We’ve dug deep into our heart and souls and decided to trust you because there’s no obvious reason why we shouldn’t, we’re taking a chance by opening ourselves up to the hurt we’re so tired of being put through, but we still have faith. So we start to lay some of our burdens down at your feet, not so you can carry them for us, but in the hopes that you’ll carry them with us. We’re tired of being too independent. Dependence might be the biggest compliment coming from someone that’s TOO. Don’t take it lightly.

Do we say too much? That’s because we feel like someone else is saying too little. We want to scream the obvious. We want the truth to be heard. WE want to be heard. We will stand up for ourselves and others.

Are we too emotional? We have hearts, feelings, thoughts, concerns. We talk too much so it all comes out to someone, somewhere, somehow. If we don’t say it out loud, we might explode. So listen to us or go away.

Oh, now we’re emotionally unavailable? Refer back to why we’re too independent. We’ve been hurt, multiple times, by the ones we cared about and maybe even loved. So, yeah, we’re guarded. It doesn’t make us hopeless or unworthy. We just need time. We need to feel a bond develop and for trust to form. You can help, but let us peel back the layers at our own pace. If we’re taking too long, you can move on, that’s ok. For us, it’s just a sign that you weren’t worth the peeling away to begin with…because we’re too independent, too stubborn, and just too.

Are we too positive, too funny, too smart, too giving? Listen, if you have a problem with any of these, probably just look inside yourself and ask why. Because we’re perfect.

I’m TOO and you can be, too.